[Tuesday 11/8] friends only from now on. this is private, fuck yall. comment first then ill add you. take care loves, ♥ 16 | comment

[Tuesday 11/8] [ mood | fat ] its 6pm and i havent eaten all day! id say thats pretty good cause im not evening fasting im feeling good and empty but not hungry anymore? im loving this pina colada gum too anyway im gunna take a short nap logan is sick so im not riding tonight! so we will probably smoke later and maybe ill eat a small salad/tea i can do that when im high i look in the mirror and i feel so ugly maybe im just really ugly and its not fat covering me up ugh, ghey im fugly and im buying those hoodia pills this week, srsly ;( 2 | comment

[Tuesday 11/8] [ mood | huge ] ew another shitty day this is so repetitive i sleep eat and smoke basically i feel like im on a really long vacation its pretty terrible i feel like if i gained ten more pounds id be just as unhappy with myself.. stupid fattie tomorrow needs to be better ill just need to focus ..coffee, fruit, tea, skim milk end of story oh yeah, i was in walgreens sunday night and saw those hoodia pills that are from africa or something and supress hunger $40 damnit! i didnt spend any money yet my moms friend big sal gave me $40 in the mail today though its a sign! so im starting over and buying those damn pills gotta walk another 4 miles to walgreens though i love not having a car at college ♥ goodnight!! comment

[Sunday 11/6] [ mood | determined ] every day is an overindulgence i smoke too much, sleep too much eat too much ice cream and chinese food ive just been enjoying college a little too much lately bahhh i hung out with johnny last night cute boys give me something to work for "i want to be pretty for you" 4 | comment

[Friday 11/4] [ mood | hungry ] guilty guilty guilty i just had a starbucks doubleshot and a little debbies fancy square fuuuuuuck and now everyones going to eat dinner i shouldve just waited and eaten a salad with them! i ate fruit and a turkey sandwich earlier for lunch and now im starving but ive already had too many cals today damnit too many bad choices but i have to say, im feeling like a skinnay bitch my sides are aching and my stomach kills yeaaah and lots of drinking tonight too and hopefully walking around !?!? then maybe ill have a small snack later trying to be realistic ok byee ♥ comment

[Friday 11/4] [ mood | awake ] fuck im on the worst caffeine high ever i cannot sleep i almost threw up or cried trying to go to sleep im freaking hungry i want a salad, gah 1 | comment

[Thursday 11/3] [ mood | high ] ok so last night cheese fries peanut butter milkshake fried chicken sandwich ice cream sundae cone two almond joy bars (4 pieces) 100cal popcorn bag lets just dont talk bout k so i obviously havent eaten all day today and i felt nauseous when my friends asked me to go to the commons to eat i cant imagine eating food, id like throw up like my stomach is empty but i still dont want to eat pretty sweet hah! anyway i was going to walk to kroger to buy hair dye but im really too lazy, quick naptime for suree ill just go after that oh and i wen to teh library today and got two fashion photography books thinsperation on every pagee man k peace ♥ 1 | comment

[Monday 10/31] [ mood | blah ] i had fruit and black coffee for lunch i was doing so great i was almost nauseous from being so hungry weird but my fucking ra just dropped off a bag of candy i love halloween but fuck all the goodies that come with it i didnt eat that much i think im gunna throw the rest away i need to go eat some real food, not sugar gahhh, i suck have a safe night girlies dont do what i just did! ;[ 8 | comment

[Sunday 10/30] [ mood | blah ] you wanna see bones ill show you bones just wait ill show you how pretty i can be ill sit outside shivering smoking a cigarette til my fingers turn blue ill sleep all day so i dont have to eat (sleep to forget) ill waste all my money on diet pills and fashion magazines and ill dream about food because i wont eat it ill stick to crash diets & live off black coffee and salad without dressing and stare at pictures of kate moss and chew my nails til they bleed because i want to be different not average i want to be fucking beautiful and i can be anything i fucking want ♥ 4 | comment

[Sunday 10/30] [ mood | discontent ] i was feeling skinny this morning my inaccurate scale said i was like 100 how can it be that off? like 30 pounds? i just ate a ton of food i cant control myself anymore i feel unconfortable in my own skin i just feel like disappearing i miss home i miss my friends i just want someone who cares my life is just one big failure i want perfection but i fail everytime i try then i dig myself in this dark hole and stuff food in my mouth not because i want to, but because i can its something i can control i just suck in general i cant accomplish anything i quit life 1 | comment

[Saturday 10/29] [ mood | full ] i bought a new scale it said like 107 today i almost punched myself in the face i was 130 a week ago im so pissed i need a fucking accurate scale anyway i tried on my friends size 5 jean shorts and they fit loosely which made me happy but ive actually never felt fatter ive been eating so much shit food lately and not working out and its all catching up this drunk girl from my floor was like, "pretty sally! can i call you pretty sally" aww it just made me smile but im gunna go put on my halloween costume in an attempt for my fat ass to feel sexy xo 1 | comment

[Friday 10/28] [ mood | bored ] its such a gorgeous fall day im so happy i just had black coffee for lunch oo im learning to love it im not hungry now and im not going to be hungry later and if i am i dont give a shit, im not eating i feel motivated! woo my two best friends are in psychology and they learned about eating disorders in class today, so they were like "yeaah we had to see pictures of people who were like skeletons.." and "did you know that theres websites on like how to be anorexic?" im like, hmmm yeah anyway i hope you all are doing well another boring update from moi 1 | comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]